As I briefly mentioned in my last post, I started Weight Watchers.  Technically I’ve been doing it since before Christmas, but I lost my way over the holidays.  It’s so hard to avoid overeating during the holidays, especially if you are blessed with family that knows how to cook.

As part of WW, I’ve taken silly little quizzes and lessons to teach me how to change my lifestyle.  I wasn’t too surprised to see the results of the quiz that tells you all about what is affecting your weight.

weightwatchers

Haha, basically I’m stubborn, unprepared, and bottle up my emotions.  Sounds about right.

I’m doing so-so on this plan.  It gets easier as the days progress unless I don’t give myself enough time to eat a good, protein rich breakfast mostly consisting of yogurt, milk, and granola.  Sounds like a lot, but it is definitely satisfying and meets a lot of dietary needs in such an important meal.

I don’t think of WW as a diet, but more of a way to retrain myself how to eat to live, not live to eat, nor eat my emotions.  I’ve been taking some herbal supplements and truly believe that their additions have also made me feel more energetic and happier, namely D3.  I’m convinced that I suffer from from a vitamin D deficiency because I have a lot more energy when I regularly take a D3 supplement.  And if you know me at all, you know I’m pasty white, hate the sun, and wear SPF 75 sunscreen.

I’ve only lost about seven pounds so far, buuuuut I haven’t done as well as I would like to have done.  I approach it as every day is a new day though, so even if I mess up or eat too much, I can deal with it.

I’m eating roughly 1600 calories a day which seems like so little to most people.  However, it really is enough if I fill up on GOOD foods like veggies and fruit.  Before WW, I never realized how satisfied I could stay on a big bowl of vegetables, especially beans.

Anyway, I’m definitely a HAES advocate and I don’t feel ashamed to admit that I’m on Weight Watchers.  It isn’t solely to lose weight, but to change how I view food and how I eat it.  I will always be fat (medically) and I don’t mind that, but since moving to Murfreesboro, my eating habits have gone down a path that would lead me (or has led, actually) into unhealthy land.  I don’t eat a “real food” diet or a “raw food” diet or any kind of diet really because it’s too much work and brain draining to struggle through that.   I’m just trying to eat more vegetables and fruits, get in some calcium, take my vitamins like I should, and feel better physically.

We’re not ready for babies, but I would like to be eating a healthy diet of variety looong before I (hopefully) end up in that situation.

I’m also signing us up for a CSA program (community supported agriculture) that has the option of a peck-sized basket every week, which is the half-sized portion of the regular weekly haul.  It isn’t the cheapest way to veggies out there, but there’s nothing like supporting local farmers, especially 100% organic farmers and getting tasty produce.  It’ll broaden my horizons in the veggie and fruit world and challenge me as a cook.  I’m actually looking forward to it, so hopefully they still have some spots left.  This is something I’ve been researching for a few weeks now, digging through the various options and farms in the area that deliver to M’boro.  A big negative though is there is always the risk of crop failure, which leaves you with nothing!

I’m sure you enjoyed this wonderful disjointed post about eating healthily!  Could you tell I was totally distracted (by finding French music, actually) while writing?

Next up, I will talk about my big six hours of classes that I just started, haha.

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On Being Kind to Yourself

by Valerie on January 11, 2010 · 4 comments

my treat to myself (11/365)

I’m not kind to myself.  At all.  My inner dialogue is too scary for me to publicly talk about, so I’ll just leave it as I’m utterly atrocious to myself.

That being said, it might be surprising that I’m trying to change how I treat myself.  I’m trying to spoil my body, my skin, and my hair with things that are good.  I’m trying to move toward more of a vegetable friendly diet (and Weight Watchers, by the way), drink more water, and rid my beauty products of as much of the bad stuff as I can, which includes silicons, their derivatives and cousins, as well as sulfates.

-Cone products and sulfates are especially bad for people with sensitive skin, acne prone skin, and people with dry hair (i.e. African Americans and those with curly or chemically processed hair).  What do these things do to ya, you ask?

Well… sulfates are basically in all shampoos, conditioners, and styling products unless you buy specialty brand or search high and low.  They make all these products lather and strip away all the body’s natural oils along with the grime of the day.  Sulfates are also in laundry detergents and dish soaps.  So, you might as well be washing your hair in dish soap.  I don’t know about anybody else, but dish soap makes my hands incredibly dry to the point of cracking and bleeding if I do dishes by hand a lot.  Thankfully I have a dishwasher now, so I don’t get that as often.  But seriously.  Dish soap.  On your precious hair.  On your face!  Yikes.

That’s not the worst part though.

Most styling products, especially ones labeled to reduce frizz, have silicone in them.  A lot of silicons are not water soluble.  Simply put, they don’t come out of your hair with gentle friction or any other product that doesn’t have a surfactant… usually a sulfate.  Every single hair product I was using had silicone (and sulfates) in it.  From my shampoo, to my conditioner, to the styling cream I was using… they all had silicone!  My hair kept getting frizzier, flatter, and my scalp started itching more.  Despite my careful washing, styling, drying, my hair was getting frizzier, drier, and falling out, PLUS losing its curl.  I very, very rarely use heat via blow dryer or flat iron to style my hair, so I knew that wasn’t a factor in the demise of my hair.

I got the worst haircut I’ve had in a while last week and had an allergic reaction to some products that were used on my hair.  My hair was razored to oblivion and looks thin and stringy now when curly.   I feel like I have a mullet, but Brett insists that I don’t.  Needless to say, I’m not going back to this stylist.  But when my whole body was itching, I started researching ingredients in hair products and came across naturallycurly.com where I found a regimen that would work for me and my hair.

My hair had had enough abuse.  So I decided I was going to no-poo it (i.e. use no shampoo), but upon further research I learned that that wasn’t enough.   Not using shampoo would only worsen frizz and grease since nothing would be able to remove those damaging silicons.   Thus… the switch to sulfate and silicone free products.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money to buy these products.  Suave Naturals is a perfect starting point.  It’s cheap (cheaper than Pantene, Herbal Essences, etc).  You find it at a supermarket.  And it doesn’t have silicone or sulfate in any of the “Naturals” line.

I started out using this:

16496548747b5cf10cf7f8

It’s not cheap.  It’s like $10 for a bottle.  And also, if you notice that paw right there on the bottle,  it’s a pet shampoo.  Yes.  I use a pet shampoo.  It’s all natural, makes my hair feel clean, and it is sulfate and silicone-free.  I use it once a week to really get my hair clean, but otherwise, I use Burt’s Bees Very Volumizing Pomegranate & Soy Conditioner to clean my hair with friction.  I found it at Target on sale, so score!  Then after washing my hair with conditioner, I gently scrunch the water out of my hair, mix some silicone-free gel and my conditioner together and scrunch it into my hair.  Then I scrunch the water out with my cheesecloth-like hair towel, wrap it up, and let it sit in the towel for about 30 minutes.  I let my hair air dry for anywhere from 1-3 hours.  It depends on how much I’ve scrunched the water out of my hair, really.  Then once it’s dry, I “scrunch the crunch,” which is a cutesy phrase for scrunching the crunchy feeling of the gel out of my hair.

It’s important to note that if anyone wants to switch to this method of caring for your hair, you MUST wash your hair one last time with the sulfate laden shampoo in order to strip out all the silicons and start from scratch.  Then you can shampoo, if you use shampoo, with the sulfate/silicone free shampoo, conditioner, and then style as usual.  Like I said, I never use heat on my hair, but be careful if you use heat and a product containing a  lot of natural oils.  You might scorch your hair.

My hair is still transitioning from sulfate and silicone products so it’s still greasy sooner than I would like (after two days) and falls flat and frizzes a little throughout the day.  Some say it can take as much as six weeks for your hair and scalp to adjust to the changes, especially if you shampoo, condition, style with heat every single day.  Even so, the curl pattern in my hair is returning.  I love it, minus the atrocious haircut that can truly only be fixed by chopping my hair off right at my chin.  My hair has grown almost six inches in the last year (seriously), so I’m not going to go that route.  I’ll just go in for routine trims off the bottom and only the bottom layer.

valerie

Photo 12

Ignore my ghastly expression in the crappy second picture.  I was showing my friend Bethanie my haircut (and being silly), which looks pretty good flat-ironed straight, no?  It’s a different story when it’s curly, which I won’t show you yet, haha.  I had about three inches cut off my hair, just as a reference point.

Anyway, I recently ordered a lot of Aubrey Organics conditioner, styling products, and face products because they’re raved about on naturallycurly.com (quite a wealth of information for curly-haired people) to replace my mish mash of random styling products.  I didn’t like the Nexxus gel that I picked up at Target because it makes my hair too oily and too crunchy after scrunching the crunch despite varying the quantity.  Too little and my hair frizzes, too much and it gets too oily.  It’s an experiment.

I will post pictures of my hair curly in time.  I love my curly hair so much more than my straight hair, so I really want this to work out.  I did this to be kind to my hair and skin… and hopefully that will translate into being kind to myself mentally and emotionally.

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The first snow of 2010

by Valerie on January 7, 2010 · 4 comments

"The Blizzard of 2010" (7/365)

This is the snow that we got today.  Barely a dusting and the entire Middle Tennessee region has shut down.

DSC_3099
There’s my sexy Mazda3 covered with a fine layer of snow.

This overreaction to snow isn’t unusual to me.  When I lived in East Tennessee, every time there would be a threat of snow, the county in which I lived would close schools… without fail.   Granted, my county did include a large population of students living in the Appalachian mountains, which generally got all of the snow instead of the valley, which is where I lived.

Brett got out on the roads, and had zero problems driving with ice or snow, so I’m not sure why state troopers have responded to about a hundred wrecks in the Middle Tennessee area today.  And the kicker is that the county and city schools here are closed tomorrow as well.  Brett gets another day off work.  Unbelievable!

I’m doing alright with the 365 days of photos, though I sheepishly admit that I forgot to take a picture yesterday. Also, the picture from January 5th is not too smokin’ hot.  You would think, since I want to become a professional photographer, that I would find it easy to take pictures every day.  Alas, I am frequently lazy when it comes to documenting my personal life.

Even though I missed a day already, I’m not considering this resolution/project to be a bust.  I’m going to push forward and hopefully learn some stuff from it.  Or permanently stay in a photographic rut and never get my business off the ground.

I think this project could become intimidating and frustrating to me because I hate a majority of photos I take (self-esteem issue, much?), and I feel pressured to be hip, cool, and think of outrageous things to take photos of everyday.  I’m trying not to get overwhelmed and just do simple things that make me happy, but we’ll see how it develops.

Here are some other photos I took:

Hallie

Hallie pre-surgery.  She’s currently spending the night at the vet recovering from being spayed.

Orion (5/365)

Orion yawning.

Buddha

More Buddha (noticing a decorating theme?).

rosie

And still editing pictures that I took over winter break.

By the way, school starts next Thursday.  I’m only taking two classes this semester, so I’m hoping that this will be the spring that my photography takes wings.  I have a lot of learning to do.  I wish I had positive feedback on my photos than from about five people, but hey.  I gotta get out there and shoot more if I want strangers to like my work.

I’m so afraid I don’t have the skills to make this dream a reality.  It seems like there are a dime a dozen photographers, but honestly?  I’m not looking to make six figures even if it does sound really nice.  I want to live comfortably, which wouldn’t be  much for me (as long as I could afford to buy camera equipment).

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My Kooky Sister

by Valerie on January 5, 2010 · 0 comments

rosie

My sister is awesome.  Why?  Because she lets me take pictures like this and post them all over the internet.  Thanks, sis. ;)

There are a lot of other pictures that I took that I will eventually get up.  I have to get motivated and do all my photo editing in the morning, or otherwise I don’t do it.  I can’t even think about editing a photo past 5:00pm.

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What’s This?

by Valerie on January 4, 2010 · 0 comments

wall art in progress

(1/3/2010)

Ah, what’s this strange image?

Well… it’s just a piece of wall art in progress. It’s hanging out on the wall between our bedroom and the bathroom, which probably means nothing to 99% of my blog readers, haha.

I’ll eventually get it finished, but it’s one step at a time.  It’s a big deal that I even got this far.

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Introspection

by Valerie on January 3, 2010 · 1 comment

introspective

(1/2/2010)

Lately I’ve been processing a lot of emotions without discussing them with anyone.  I’ve been writing a lot in my paper journal, curled up in bed with a glass of juice right before I go to sleep.

It’s not very often that I get friends out to Murfreesboro to visit anymore and I’m already feeling fairly isolated.  All I can do is just make more friends, I guess.  It’s easy to say that I could just be friends with Rosemary’s friends, but yeah… that’s a little awkward, not to mention sad.  Being an introverted and anxious person, I obviously find it difficult to find friends my age.

Strangely, I was informed that a girl I went to high school with died on New Year’s Eve.  I talked to my friend that used to date her, and apparently there is speculation that she overdosed on some sort of pill.  No one really knows what happened.  It bothers me a lot that she died, but I can’t say I’m surprised if she died from an overdose.  Is that callous and inappropriate?  And why are so many people my age dying now?

I’m trying to be happy with my life and live in the moment, but I feel a little suffocated and trapped.  I ultimately know what I want to do with my life, but there are so many things swirling around in my head that I’m a little confused.   I should be grateful for everything happening in my life, especially when faced with the mortality of human beings.  Still… I’m anxious and, honestly, depressed.

I hate using the big D-word, but it’s true.

Something is missing in my life.  Why else would I be feeling utterly unsatisfied?  Wish I could figure out what’s going on to make me feel this way and then I could attempt to correct it.

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buddies

by Valerie on January 3, 2010 · 1 comment

buddies

(1/2/2010)

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Happy New Year!

by Valerie on January 1, 2010 · 2 comments

Buddha (1/365)

May 2010 bring you all immeasurable joy and peace!

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resolutions.

by Valerie on December 26, 2009 · 7 comments

Ahh, now that Christmas is over (which I will post about upon my return to Murfreesboro), it is time to look forward to the new year!

Some resolutions for 2010:

  • Get back on the Weight Watchers train (holiday eating ruined it for me though I did lose weight before Christmas)
  • Blog at least three times a week for the whole year
  • Set up my photography website
  • Revamp lifeaswife.com (I started, but finals/winter break in East Tennessee got in the way)
  • 365 days of photos… hopefully.  I probably won’t post them every day on the blog, but more like once a week.
  • Visit my sister in Madison
  • Continue to do well in school (My semester GPA was a 3.66 this term!)
  • Be happy!
  • Celebrate the good times that are going to happen this year

How about anybody else?  Thought of any new year resolutions for 2010?

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Protected: random rambling.

by Valerie on December 18, 2009 · 0 comments

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